Punch Lines

Punch Lines

Written by Chris Manheim
Directed by Andrew Merrifield

Synopsis & commentary:
While Xena is sleeping, Gabrielle is trying to write a story with little success. Aphrodite appears, after all they ARE sleeping in her temple, and decides to have a slumber party with Gabrielle. (Luckily, Aphrodite is ALWAYS dressed for a slumber party.) Gabrielle starts to complain about her day. Her is when we find out that this is one of those episodes where they've saved themselves ten minutes of shooting by showing us clips from episodes we've already seen. That morning, Gabrielle and Xena have a discussion about Xena's crankiness. (Clips of Xena being cranky.) They then make a bet. "How abouta whole month of cooking and cleaning thhat you can't go through a whole day without losing yhour temper," asks Gabrielle. "You throw in back rubs and you've got a deal," answers Xena. Gabrielle takes Argo down to a stream to wash him. As she does so, Argo shrinks to about half her former size.
Back in the "present," in Aphrodite's temple, Aphrodite is psychoanalyzing Gabrielle. "Patient is hostile and insecure," she writes. "Possibly masking some latent tendencies." Meanwhile, in the story, Gabrielle is pleading with the god Lachryhmose to restore Argo to her original size. "So?" responds Lachrymose. "I've never laughed in my whole life." If this seems a little awkward and irrelevant to you, it's because IT IS. Then Gabrielle, suddenly losing about 110 IQ points, bets she can make the god laugh. Meanwhile, Joxer and Xena are in a tavern being tortured by a wailing baby (finally, a scene I can agree with.) Gabrielle tells Lachrymose stories which are actually excuses to show more clips from previous episodes. While Gabrielle stalls Xena, Argo escapes.
When we come back from commercials, we find Aphrodite trying to put the moves on Gabrielle. Aphrodite is in a bubble bath, and Gabrielle asks "What is that smell? It smells like chocolate." "Essence of white chocolate to be exact," responds Aphrodite. "Haven't you heard that chocolate is an aphrodesiac? It's one of my little secrets." In the story Gabrielle goes searching for Argo in a grocery store. (?!) Lachrymose arrives and shrinks Gabrielle for some reason I don't even remember. Probably didn't make any logical sense like everything else in this episode. Mini-Gabby enlists Joxer's help to thwart Lachrymose.
Oddly enough, it works. Joxer tricks Lachrymose into enlarging Gabrielle. They run and hide in a tavern where Xena finally finds out about Argo and freaks. Now a pie fight ensues. yes, yes, that's right, a pie fight. I know. Don't even bother saying it, I know. So anyway, Lachrymose arrives, gets hit with a pie, laughs, and everything is set right. Xena seems pretty happy as the episode ends. "You know, I gotta tell ya, I am feeling a whole lot better. I mean, life's pretty sweet for me right now. I got no cooking, no cleaning, and backrubs for a month!"
Now one of the things I haven't mentioned in this review is that there is a barbarian who keeps bumping into Xena threatening to beat her up for vanquishing his brother. Why have I omitted this? Because it is REMARKABLY irrelevant. Now, if a shmuck like me can figure that out, how come the writer couldn't? Another odd thing is the pie fight at the end of the episode. In this tavern is a contingent of shriners, and opera singer, and a cowboy. For some reason, the opera singer almost makes sense. Almost. But what the heck is the cowboy doing in this scene? They may as well inserted random scenes from Pokemon or something.

Disclaimer: Gabrielle and Argo were Shrunk and Permanently Pressed during the production of this motion picture.