Last of the Centaurs

Last Of The Centaurs

Written by Joel Metzger
Directed by Garth Maxwell

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

Three centaurs are ambushed by warriors and two of them are slain. Ephiny appears to Gabrielle and warns her that Xenan, her son, is in danger. Xena and Gabrielle find out that Lord Bellach has placed a bounty on the centaur's head.

Segment two:

Xena and Gabrielle pose as assassins to question Bellach on this bounty. They find him to be the spitting image of Xena's lover Barias. Bellach explains that he is doing this because the centaur has kidnapped his daughter, Nicha. Ephiny leads Xena and Gabrielle to Xenan only to find that Nicha has not been kidnapped; she has eloped.

Segment three:

Xena reveals to Gabrielle that Bellach is indeed the son of Barias and Natasha, from whom Xena seduced Barias. Xena and the others find the centaurs' secret town, which has been razed and all the centaurs killed. Xena confronts Bellach with the truth, that his daughter is pregnant and he has committed genocide against her husband's people, people that Barias honored. Bellach proves he is beyond reason though, and Xena kidnaps him.

Segment four:

Xena shows Bellach the pit of centaurs and leaves him to confront his own guilt. Nicha goes into labor as Xenan leads Bellach's men away from her. Xena deleivers the baby just as Bellach and his troops arrive to exchange the now captured Xenan for Nicha.

Segment five:

Xena fights off Bellach's men until Nicha emerges from the hut with her son, asking for peace. Xena reveals to Bellach what an honorable man his father was, and how far he has strayed from that ideal. Bellach makes peace with his daughter and his new son in law.

The Centaur population was severely harmed during the making of this motion picture.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Ephiny appears to Gabrielle with the words, "Gabrielle-- as beautiful as ever."
• Gabrielle seems really upset after Ephiny leaves.

Commentary:

Another mediocre episode. The plot is weak, the characters one dimensional (not even two dimensional!) Bellach is one of the worst characters to come along in Xena, which is a waste for such a good actor. He is immune to logic or any sort of common sense, he commits genocide for the flimsiest of reasons, and then changes his mind and decides, Whoops! He was wrong the whole time. "Sorry about wiping out your species, son." "Gee, that's okay now that you've forgiven us, dad." Which of course does not say much for Xenan, who takes all of this in stride. And Nicha, too, who is comfortable having a mass murderer for a father.

Another example of how stupid the producers of this show think we fans are, is when Bellach reacts to something Xena says, something he has heard in the past, and they flashback to a scene we viewers saw about ten minutes ago. This is either poor writing, poor directing, poor editing, or some combination of the three. What an amazing way to underestimate your audience.

And speaking of bad writing, what is with Gabrielle constantly coaxing Xena into killing Bellach? Did Gabrielle have a bowl full of evil for breakfast? Has she temporarily forgotten her personality of the last six years? Or, more probably, do the makers of this show think that we are total idiots?