Little Problems

Little Problems

Written by Gregg Ostrin
Directed by Allison Liddi

Synopsis and commentary:
Gabrielle and Xena interrupt a bunch of thugs robbing Aphrodite's temple. While there, Aphrodite shows all the good work she's sponsored: healing the sick. Xena finds a little girl who has lost the will to live, Daphne, and Aphrodite for some reason thinks it is a good idea to switch their life forces, placing Xena in Daphne's body.
Daphne/Xena go home with Daphne's father, who for some reason won't tell his daughter that her mother is dead, and when he does get around to it won't tell her how. Meanwhile Gabrielle and Aphrodite drag Xena's body to a cave in order to hide it. But this turns out to be a stupid, or well-known hiding spot, because as soon as they get Xena's body there, the same group of thugs shows up in order to steal or kill the body, I forget which. (And who cares anyways? We all know they won't succeed.)
Gabrielle manages to beat off the entire group of thugs with a piece of rope. How do you knock someone out with a piece of rope? As far as I know, you can't. Afterwards Gabrielle has Aphrodite seal the cave so that even MORE people won't suddenly show up looking for Xena's body. Things aren't going well for Daphne, though. Her father still won't talk to her, and there's a runaway horsey! Now, to people like you and me who don't write tv shows, this may seem a little irrelevant. But I'm sure that completely random events which have nothing to do with the story or plot are, in fact, a completely clever way to solve story problems. Daphne stops the runaway horsey by using a platter as a chakram and cutting down a line of laundry, which once again doesn't do anything, it's just another moment-of-randomness. She does do a Xena war cry and jump on the horse and stop it with the reins, which in my mind is a much better way of stopping a horse than cutting down laundry. Now the laundry is all dirty! Gabrielle and Aphrodite show up at a nightclub dressed as twins, Bruna and Hilda. While they are talking to the bouncer, watch Aphrodite's helmet. Early on in the conversation her helmet bounces against Gabrielle's, pushing the helmet down over her eyes. They continue with the scene anyways, with Aphrodite tryhing to see and Gabrielle trying not to laugh.
Daphne is confronted by the same group of thugs, and with Xena's help, she beats the stuffing out of them. The thugs run back home to their boss, Tharon, who muses "We'll take away Xena's advantage by luring her to us!" Now, wait-a-sec. Why do nasties always think this? What is the logic behind it? Xena's advantage is that she is a superior fighter. How is being in your castle gonna make her less of a fighter? Anyways, Aphrodite and Gabrielle wander around the Gemini club and while they do so, two female wrestlers are in a ring fighting it out. One move which they make sure we see twice is when one of the wrestlers jumps up on the ropes, and then jumps onto the face of the other wrestler, making sure to push her opponents face into her crotch. Hmm... Gabrielle and Aphrodite steal a magic oil from Castor and Pollux by wrestling with them in oil. Castor and Pollux have to make the "cunning linguists" joke which those of us who watch tv and movies have seen a dozen time before. Daphne goes fishing and suddenly remembers that she DOES know how her mother dies. In fact, she was there. In fact, it's her fault! Gosh, how could she have forgotten that? Her father freaks when he catches her near the ocean where her mother drowned. As Daphne runs away, completely wigging out, daddy is captured by the thugs.
Daphne and Gabrielle rescue daddy, but Daphne is confronted by Tharon, and evil guy in a mask who had half of his face cut off by Xena ten years ago and is now getting around to revenge. He rips of his mask to reveal... a face with bad acne. Barely looked bad at all. Xena/Daphne defeat him by ducking as he tries to hit her/them with a mace and somehow manages to throw himself off of the battlements of his castle. Bad coordination. Xena and Daphne are seperated with the magic oil. And finally comes the one moment of subtext: Xena is checking out her body to make sure everything is okay, and Garielle says "Xena, I took ggod care of you." "I know," responds Xena, rubbing the back of Gabrielle's neck.

Disclaimer: No Pie Tins were harmed during the making of Tharon's mask.