A Friend in Need part II

A Friend In Need part II

Teleplay by R.J. Stewart
Story by Rob Tapert & R.J. Stewart
Directed by Rob Tapert

Episode synopsis:

Xena buries her sword and armor and takes off after the armies of Yodoshi. She does a surprisingly good job annihilating them, especially when her chakram ignites their entire supply of greek fire/gunpowder, setting off what is for all purposes a nuclear explosion. But there are 20,000 troops, and not even Xena can defeat that many. After sweeping her area with wave after wave of arrows, a samauri kills the already bloody and beaten Xena.

Xena's spirit, now given form and trapped in this realm by Yodoshi, appears at the tea house where Akemi and other female spirits wait to seduce souls. Yodoshi arrives and beats Xena until she submits to him. Xena leaves the teahouse once he disappears and almost immediately bumps into Gabrielle, who has been searching for her since finding her bloodied Chakram on the battle field. Gabrielle is understandably upset at the situation but agrees to do whatever it takes to bring Xena back from the dead. Ghost Killer tells her that if she brings Xena's ashes to the Fountain Of Strength by sunset tomorrow, Xena's soul will be restored to her body.

Gabrielle sneaks into the camp of the army and finds Xena's bloody, strung up body, sans head. She fights the samauri in order to get it, and easily defeats him. She denies him an honorable beheading, though, and just knocks him out. Gabrielle burns the body to ashes and then heads to Mount Fuji.

Back at the tea house, Xena and Ghost Killer set a trap for Yodoshi. After a fierce battle in which Ghost Killer is fatally wounded, Yodoshi barely escapes with his life. Ghost Killer reveals he is on his way to the Fountain Of Strength to heal himself. Xena arrives there in time to battle Yodoshi, but he manages to drink from the fountain and his returned strength allows him to crush Xena. As she lays suffering, Gabrielle drinks from the fountain and then kisses Xena in order to pass the water to her while Akemi distracts Yodoshi by unsuccessfully attacking him. Xena rises up and battles Yodoshi while Gabrielle fights the samauri again for possession of Xena's ashes. They win their respective fights, and as the last rays of the setting sun sink below the mountain range, Xena prevents Gabrielle from pouring the ashes into the fountain. Turns out that the 40,000 souls liberated from Yodoshi will only pass into a state of grace if their deaths are avenged. Therefore Xena, who is responsible for fire that killed them, must remain dead. As they watch the sunset together, Xena's spirit fades. Gabrielle sails off with Xena's spirit looking over her shoulder to continue the fight for good.

Xena was permanently harmed in the making of this motion picture, but kept her spirits up.

Moments Of Subtext:

• As Xena is killed at the begining of the episode, she screams Gabrielle's name while a montage of subtext moments plays out, obviously showing her dying thoughts.
• Akime, upon seeing Xena, says: "I want to write a verse to express how I feel, but there's no poetry of sufficient beauty."
• Gabrielle's reaction to finding Xena's spirit: "You're my whole life, Xena. I won't lose you."
  "You won't lose me," reassures Xena.
• Xena introduces Gabrielle to Akemi: "This is my soulmate."
• Ghost Killer asks Gabrielle: "Would you risk your life for the return of hers?"
  "Without hesitation," responds Gabrielle.
• As Gabrielle receives a painful tattoo, Xena lays next to her, holding her.
• Gabrielle's reaction (and this is some BEAUTIFUL acting) to finding Xena's bloody, headless corpse is painful to watch. She falls to the ground, fighting back her urge to retch. Finally she stands up and cries, "Give me her head!" with soul wrenching emotion.
• Another subtext montage plays while Gabrielle cremates Xena's body.
• Gabrielle carries water from the Fountain of Strength to Xena's beaten 'body' by drinking it, then passing the water directly from her mouth to Xena's in a life giving kiss. Very sensual. One image in the kiss is clearly a kiss and not Gabrielle passing water.
• As Xena prevents Gabrielle from pouring the ashes into the fountain they have the following conversation: "That is not right! I don't care. You're all that matters to me."
  "Don't you know how much I want to let you do this?" responds Xena. "But if there's a reason for our travels together it's because I had to learn from YOU. Enough to know the final, the good, the right thing to do. I can't come back. I can't."
  "I love you, Xena. How am I supposed to go on without you?"
  "I'll always be with you, Gabrielle. Always."
  Xena's spirit then fades away.
• The final shot is Gabrielle sailing away in a boat, with Xena's spirit beside her. "A life of journeying has brought you to the farthest lands, to the very edges of the earth," says Gabrielle.
  "And to the place I'll always remain: your heart," responds Xena. "So where to now?"
  "I think we should go south to the land of the pharoahs. I hear they need a girl with a chakram."
  "Where you go, I am at your side."
  "I knew you'd say that," says Gabrielle.
  Xena kisses Gabrielle on the top of her head, the boat sails away with just Gabrielle standing on the deck, and the final episode ends.

Commentary:

Well, here we go: my final review.

There has been a LOT of discussion about this episode on the net, some good, lots of bad. I understand why most people hate it as much as they do. It is incredibly painful to watch Gabrielle sail off on that boat all alone. I didn't think it would affect me as much as it has. I watched the episode while at my parents' house and when the episode ended I just went on with my day. (My parents, I'm sure, just don't understand why their son has a lesbian webpage other than it's just another entry into the 'Scott is weird' list.) It wasn't until last night, when I was entering the subtext moments into this website, that I found myself sobbing while I typed out their final conversation together. Weird. Not like me. But as rough as the last couple of years have been, I did live with these characters for the last six years, and now they are no longer a direct part of my life. They are in the past.

And yet, I can also undertand why the powers that be ended it the way they did. It is incredibly dramatic and moving, one of the more emotional moments I have seen on tv, and I am always pleased when tv can produce a strong emotion. I also undertand that given the history of the show, there was no way Xena could find that final redemption she has always sought except for in her own death. It seems to me to be thematically consistent. And even more tha ndoing the right thing, she has passed the mantle to Gabrielle, so that good will continue to be commited in her name.

But man, that last scene tears me up.

I enjoyed the episode as a whole. I liked the air of sadness that permeates both this and the previous episode. I like the drama that such extreme situations provide. And because of this, you will find no better acting anywhere on tv than what Renee O'Connor does in this episode. It is absolutely amazing. She breaks my heart every time I think of Gabrielle's reaction to Xena's decapitated body. And the last scenes...what can I say? She, I am certain, will have a long and prosperous career after this show if she so chooses.

It has been a fun six years, I thank you all for coming and reading and writing me such wonderful emails. But for me, the fun doesn't stop now. I will first do a cosmetic upgrade of Xena: Warrior Lesbian to a professional design, rather than the cheesy amateur page you are looking at now. (Don't worry, same content!) I will slowly revisit all the reviews and improve the ones I don't like. But most importantly, I will use this page to take a step forward. I am hoping to use the lessons put forward in Xena and use this page as a way to fight for good. I hope to include ways we can all be active in the fight for equal rights for homosexuals. More on this soon.

Thank you for all of your emails. Fight the good fight.

A Friend in Need part I

A Friend In Need part I

Teleplay by R.J. Stewart
Story by Rob Tapert & R.J. Stewart
Directed by Rob Tapert

Episode synopsis:

A monk arrives in Xena and Gabrielle's campsite, claiming he is a messenger from Akemi, a ghost from Xena's past. He tells his story of taking shelter in a teahouse with a brother monk, where three ghosts who are controlled by Yodoshi, Lord of the Darkland, tried to seduce them. His brother monk, once seduced, was absorbed into Yodoshi. The monk was able to escape with the help of Akemi's ghost who charged him with finding Xena in order to destroy this evil, giving him a sacred katana to pass along to Xena.

While travelling to Japan Xena tells Gabrielle of meeting Akemi, many years ago, when she was in the land of Chin with Borias. She heard of a land further to the east, and reclaimed Akemi from her abducter in order to ransom her back to her rich and powerful father. Akemi, however looks upon Xena as a teacher, with eyes full of worship. Arriving in Japan, Akemi, still professing her love of Xena, offers to lead her to her father's fortress. She instead brings Xena to her grandparent's home, so that she can pray to their spirits. Xena, furious at being deceived, almost cuts her head off, but instead Ameki goads her into visiting the local armory and stealing a sacred katana. Later that night, in a bonding moment, Xena teaches Ameki how to do the pinch. Arriving at her father's fortress the next day, Xena and Akemi surprise her father. As Xena fights off his guards, Akemi puts the pinch on her father, Yodoshi, and kills him for murdering her mother, siblings, and grandparents. She then runs herself through and asks Xena to honor her by cutting off her head with the sacred katana.

In the present Xena and Gabrielle arrive at the japanese town of Higuchi, which has been sieged by the armies of Yodoshi. Xena and Gabrielle use the water tower to put out the fires that threaten to consume the town, and the invading army retreats. Xena and Gabrielle are proclaimed heroes until confronted by Ghost Killer, who reveals that the armies attacking the town are the 40,000 souls under the power of Yodoshi, thanks to Xena. When Akemi killed Yodoshi, his soul was too evil even to be accepted into the afterlife. Xena brought Akemi's ashes to the family temple in Higuchi, but was attacked by the townsfolk for dishonoring their graveyard with the ashes of a woman who had commited patricide. Xena, fighting back, started a fire that swept through the town killing 40,000 people. Those souls were then consumed by Yodoshi on their way to the afterlife. Xena vows to Ghostkiller to do anything she can to help undo this torment she was unaware she had caused. Ghost Killer says he has the power to kill Yodoshi, but he is unable to get close enough because he is mortal. Only another ghost can kill Yodoshi.

Xena and Gabrielle share a loving moment before tomorrow's battle against three armies. Xena, who has been very supportive of Gabrielle throughout the episode, letting her take the lead and commenting on her solutions to problems, teaches Gabrielle the pinch so that she will now know everything that Xena knows. She then sends Gabrielle off to a far part of the battlefield before walking off, alone.

To be continued.

Xena and Gabrielle's Flying Circus & Amateur Fire Brigade will be arriving in your town soon.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Akemi tells her captor: "You won't kill me; Xena won't let you, because in her heart she knows that she will soon love me."
• Borias comments on the adulation pouring out of Akemi: "She worships her teacher."
• Commenting on a love poem Akemi gave to Xena, Gabrielle says: "So beautiful. To have written something like that she must have loved you very much."
  "The truth is, Gabrielle, she broke my heart."
• Akemi, with Xena, writes a poem in the snow: "In a flurry of snow, two breaths become one and disappear into each other."
• Listening to the sounds around her, Xena says to Akemi: "Your heart is beating harder than normal."
  "You're a master of war, yet you know no words to speak of love. And then you go and save my life. There's no greater gift of love a teacher can give a student than that."
• Akemi's last words before Xena beheads her are "Time and love, they go on."
• Xena has Gabrielle put the pinch on her, and as blood trickles out of her nose she says: "Gabrielle, if I only had 30 seconds to live, this is how I'd want to live them; looking into your eyes. Always remember: I love you."

Commentary:

Here we go...the begining of the end. It's hard to find a lot to say about this episode. I love the subtext between Xena and Akemi, especially because when it's over, you realize that Akemi was the one in control the entire time and manipulated Xena to perform what she needed to do. This may be the first time Xena has been the one manipulated (that I can think of.) But because a mojority of the episode takes place in the past, there is not much on Xena and Gabrielle's relationship other than a brilliant and emotional scene between the two of them when Xena finally shows her the pinch and declares her love for her. Everyone is right, there has been very little subtext this season, it has all been maintext. Also, Xena's relationship with Gabrielle in this episode is very "I'm grooming you to be the next me." This leads me to believe that Xena will die in the finale, but that's just a guess.

I also love the nod to the Evil Dead movies with the first person perspective of Yoshido rushing towards the tea house. Thanks guys!

Because of Lucy Lawless' performance, because of the nurturing relationship she suddenly has with Gabrielle, there is this whole quietly sad tone to the episode, which I find wholly appropriate. Maybe it's not even there, maybe it is me projecting onto it, but it is working for me. I am looking forward to next week's episode.

Soul Possession

Soul Possession

Written by Melissa Blake
Directed by Josh Becker

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

In modern times, a scroll is found in a sea cavern which reveals that Xena was married to Ares.

Segment two:

Revealing the contents of the scroll at a press conference, the Centre for Historical Accuracy of Key Research in Ancient Mythology tells of a period of time in Xena's life after Adventures In The Sin Trade II and A Family Affair. Xena finds Joxer who is still mourning Gabrelle and drags him on a search for Gabrielle, whom she now knows is alive due to a vision from Alti. Ares appears to her and offers information on Gabrielle if Xena will marry him.

Segment three:

Xena roughs up Ares but he insists that he wants to marry her in front of the Fates, an eternally binding contract. Xena, knowing it is her only way of finding Gabrielle alive, eventually agrees.

Segment four:

Joxer throws Ares a bachelor party where he reencounters Meg, who helps him get over his grief and believe that Gabrielle can be found. Xena, at the wedding, declines to marry Ares and instead throws herself into the lava pit where Gabrielle "died."

Segment five:

Ares saves Xena, and admits that he did the same for Gabrielle and Hope. He also tells Xena that in exchange for saving Hope, he owns Gabrielle's soul. He offers to release her soul if he can have Xena's. He'll let the two of them live out their lives, but he will own Xena's soul for all the rest of time, in her future incarnations. Xena agrees to this and signs a scroll, which she then steals from Ares and hides in the ocean. In the present, Ares arrives to reclaim the scroll and therefore Xena's soul. But Xena, Gabrielle, and Joxer are there (in the forms of Harry, Mattie, and Annie Day from the episode "Deja Vu All Over Again") to battle him. Ares is tricked into accidentally blowing up the contract.

Joxer's natural process of elimination was harmed during the making of this motion picture.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Annie tells a couple of hand holding Xena fans that Harry and Mattie got married and they react "Xena and Gabby finally a couple!"
• Harry and Mattie are a very tight couple, and make reference to the joy of their honeymoon.
• Xena explains to Ares why she wants to get married next to the lava pit. "I should be as close as possible to the one person in the world I meant to spend the rest of my life with."
• Mattie approaches Annie, who now has Xena's soul. "Xena, no matter how hard Ares has tried he has never been able to break us up."
• Annie tells Mattie, "You know, I liked you better blonde, but I can go with this."

Commentary:

A cute episode that finally tries to deal with events that happened three years ago. I was pleased to see Joxer for one last time. It also reminded me about how good the show used to be, back when I actually cared about the characters. It is good nostalgia.

Many Happy Returns

Many Happy Returns

Written by Liz Friedman and Vanessa Place
Directed by Mark Beesley

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

Xena and Gabrielle encounter a goup of religious zealots about to sacrifice a virgin. Xena rescues her using the Helmet Of Hermes and flies her to safety, where J'nia, the virgin, is annoyed because her sacrifice was ruined.

Segment two:

Xena and Gabrielle decide to cure J'nia of her religious zeal by introducing her to a real god, Aphrodite.

Segment three:

The four of them travel to Thebes, and once they arrive there, the Helmet Of Hermes is stolen by a warlord.

Segment four:

J'nia becomes a disciple of Aphrodite, and asks her to make her fall in love. Unfortunately, Aphrodite hooks her up with the warlord's son. Xena, Aphrodite, and Gabrielle rescue her and the Helmet from the warlord's lair by posing as J'nia's parents and a wedding planner. J'nia, however, is recaptued by the zealots along with the Helmet.

Segment five:

The zealots offer the Helmet to the warlord in exchange for his protection. Xena and the warlord fight, until he is defeated and J'nia saved.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Gabrielle pokes Xena's breasts when asking her not to play any practical jokes on her (because it is her birthday.)
• When J'nia mistakes Xena for a god, she wraps herself around her and says "Take thy humble servent, J'nia, to thy bosom."
  "Whoa!" warns Xena, "these are spoken for."
• To prove to J'nia that Xena is not a god, Gabrielle pinches her bottom.
• Xena and Gabrielle engage in some nude frolicking at a local pond.
• Gabrielle squeals and giggles when she believes that an eel in her bed is, in fact, Xena.
• Aphrodite greets Xena and Gabrielle with, "Well, if it isn't my favorite girl group!"
• Gabrielle gets all excited when she finds out they are travelling to Thebes to see Sappho perform.
• For her birthday, Xena gives Gabrielle a poem she had Sappho write for her: "There's a moment when I look at you, and no speech is left in me. My tongue breaks, then fire races under my skin and I tremble and grow pale, for I am dying of such love, or so it seems to me." Both are overwhelmed by the poem and hug.
• Finally, Xena puts on the Helmet and she and Gabrielle fly off together.

Commentary:

Tons of subtext in this episode. Tons. After that ending, one could probably officially declare them "out of the closet," however I think we all know that the next new episode will put them right back into the land of vague looks. This episode is very fun to watch from a subtext viewpoint though.

When Fates Collide

When Fates Collide

Written by Katherine Fugate
Directed by John Fawcett

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

Caesar has escaped from Hell and chained up the Fates. He alters the tapestry of life so that he did not crucify Xena shortly after meeting her. Reality rearranges itself to accomodate this. Caesar is now still Emperor of Rome, and Xena is his Empress.

Segment two:

Alti is in this reality too. She is the high priestess of Rome. The three of them attend a play put on by Gabrielle, where Xena is overwhelmed by her instant connection with this playwright. Caesar becomes jealous, and Alti uses this opportunity to attack Xena with the idea of becoming the new empress.

Segment three:

Brutus saves Xena and Alti is jailed. Caesar arrests Gabrielle claiming that Alti named her as a co-conspirator. Xena makes her way to Gabrielle's cell where they tenderly share their feelings for each other. Xena agrees to free Alti in exchange for more visions of her future, which reveal the truth that this is not the intended reality. Gabrielle is brought out to be crucified.

Segment four:

Xena stops the crucifixtion by promising to cooperate with Caesar if he spares Gabrielle's life. He agrees and she is set free. He later, however, dispatches Alti to kill her. Xena interrupts that assassination and fights off Alti but roman troops arrive and subdue her.

Segment five:

Xena is crucified by Caesar, who is killed by Alti. Gabrielle, in her grief over losing Xena, goes to the temple of the Fates and finds them chained up and the loom in chaos. She destroys the tapestry, reinstating the proper reality.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Caesar complains about his fate: "I get stabbed in the back by my good friend Brutus while Xena gets to ride off into the sunset with her girlfriend."
• After the play, Xena throws a rose to Gabrielle, and they make eye contact. Each clearly feels a connection to the other.
• Caesar is clearly jealous of the connection Xena and Gabrielle seem to share.
• "Do you really believe that kind of love exists?" asks Xena.
  "It's what we all dream about, isn't it? Someone looks so deeply into our soul that they find something worth dying for." Gabrielle responds. They spend a beat looking into each other's eyes.
• When Xena and Caesar leave the post-play party, Gabrielle watches them leave in slow motion, obviously full of emotion.
• In their bed chamber Xena admits to an interest in Gabrielle, then refuses to sleep with Caesar.
• Xena watches Gabrielle from her balcony across the courtyard.
• Alti confronts Xnea: "I saw the way you looked at her tonight during the play. Wouldn't Caesar give anything to have you look at him that way?"
• "I'm not your empress; I'm your friend" says Xena as she gets Gabrielle off of the cross.
• "Xena, when I thought I was going to die, it all became so clear. My life is empty despite my success. I write about love but I've never felt it before." Gabrielle confesses to Xena before leaving Rome.
  "Rome is not safe for you. Leave now."
  "I will never forget you."
• "Xena, when I'm with you, this emptiness that I've felt my entire life is gone," Gabrielle tells Xena.
• "I can't let you die," Gabrielle tells Xena.
  "Some things are worth dying for; isn't that what your play was about? Being prepared to sacrifice all for love?"
  "For love."
• "I'll love you forever" Xena tells Gabrielle.
• Gabrielle confronts the Fates in her grief: "Your loom destroyed what was meant to be," she says before destoying reality.
• "I love you Gabrielle," says Xena as she is crucified.

Commentary:

Wow.

Wow.

A good episode, and it's is all about maintext! This episode is purely here to show that Xena and Gabrielle are meant to be, that their love crosses realities, and that nothing can stand in its way. Nearly every scene of this episode is there to talk about the love felt between these two characters. It is also an interesting episode because it steps into another reality, and it is always interesting to play "What might have been."

This episode also has what I think is on of the best endings I have seen in a Xena episode. You come back from commercial to find Xena being crucified, Alti stabbing Caesar while having sex with him, Gabrielle confronting the Fates in comfortless grief as she decides to destroy reality rather than live without Xena. Very powerful stuff.

Highly recommended.

Last of the Centaurs

Last Of The Centaurs

Written by Joel Metzger
Directed by Garth Maxwell

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

Three centaurs are ambushed by warriors and two of them are slain. Ephiny appears to Gabrielle and warns her that Xenan, her son, is in danger. Xena and Gabrielle find out that Lord Bellach has placed a bounty on the centaur's head.

Segment two:

Xena and Gabrielle pose as assassins to question Bellach on this bounty. They find him to be the spitting image of Xena's lover Barias. Bellach explains that he is doing this because the centaur has kidnapped his daughter, Nicha. Ephiny leads Xena and Gabrielle to Xenan only to find that Nicha has not been kidnapped; she has eloped.

Segment three:

Xena reveals to Gabrielle that Bellach is indeed the son of Barias and Natasha, from whom Xena seduced Barias. Xena and the others find the centaurs' secret town, which has been razed and all the centaurs killed. Xena confronts Bellach with the truth, that his daughter is pregnant and he has committed genocide against her husband's people, people that Barias honored. Bellach proves he is beyond reason though, and Xena kidnaps him.

Segment four:

Xena shows Bellach the pit of centaurs and leaves him to confront his own guilt. Nicha goes into labor as Xenan leads Bellach's men away from her. Xena deleivers the baby just as Bellach and his troops arrive to exchange the now captured Xenan for Nicha.

Segment five:

Xena fights off Bellach's men until Nicha emerges from the hut with her son, asking for peace. Xena reveals to Bellach what an honorable man his father was, and how far he has strayed from that ideal. Bellach makes peace with his daughter and his new son in law.

The Centaur population was severely harmed during the making of this motion picture.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Ephiny appears to Gabrielle with the words, "Gabrielle-- as beautiful as ever."
• Gabrielle seems really upset after Ephiny leaves.

Commentary:

Another mediocre episode. The plot is weak, the characters one dimensional (not even two dimensional!) Bellach is one of the worst characters to come along in Xena, which is a waste for such a good actor. He is immune to logic or any sort of common sense, he commits genocide for the flimsiest of reasons, and then changes his mind and decides, Whoops! He was wrong the whole time. "Sorry about wiping out your species, son." "Gee, that's okay now that you've forgiven us, dad." Which of course does not say much for Xenan, who takes all of this in stride. And Nicha, too, who is comfortable having a mass murderer for a father.

Another example of how stupid the producers of this show think we fans are, is when Bellach reacts to something Xena says, something he has heard in the past, and they flashback to a scene we viewers saw about ten minutes ago. This is either poor writing, poor directing, poor editing, or some combination of the three. What an amazing way to underestimate your audience.

And speaking of bad writing, what is with Gabrielle constantly coaxing Xena into killing Bellach? Did Gabrielle have a bowl full of evil for breakfast? Has she temporarily forgotten her personality of the last six years? Or, more probably, do the makers of this show think that we are total idiots?

Send in the Clones

Send In The Clones

Written by Paul Robert Coyle
Directed by Charlie Haskell

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

In the present a mysterious woman (who looks an awful lot like Alti) exchanges cash for Xena's now 2000 year old chakram and two hair samples. Three Xena fans are summoned to her laboratory where she reveals she has cloned Xena and Gabrielle.

Segment two:

The Xena fans provide compilations of clips from the television show that are meant to resurface the dormant memories in the clones. After they leave for the day a mysterious person enters the lab and loads clips of evil Xena which the Xena clone starts to respond to.

Segment three:

More montages are shown to the clones, finally awakening the Xena clone who puts the pinch on one of the Xena fans.

Segment four:

After Gabrielle wakes up and the situation is explained to them, Xena and Gabrielle begin to adjust to the present and watch reruns of the show based on their lives. The scientist leads Gabrielle outside where she is promptly arrested by the local police for "breaking and entering." Xena takes off to rescue her and the scientist who looks just like Alti reveals that she is, in fact...Alti!

Segment five:

Alti has brought Xena to life so that she could revert her to her evil ways and ruin Xena's new found reputation in the modern world. Confronting the evil Xena in a junkyard, Alti almost converts her to her own cause, but Gabrielle awakens Xena's good side. Alti is defeated in a fight, and the clones appear to die in the ensuing explosion.

No Xena fans were harmed during the making of this motion picture.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Commenting on a montage made by the subtext friendly fan, one of the others says "You'd think all they did was sit around in baths and campfires emoting."
  "I included other things, but I feel very strongly that Gabrielle is the most important relationship in Xena's life."
  "If you start talking about subtext, I'm gonna barf!"
• The horny male fan wants to take advantage of the unconscious clones: "We need a more hands on approach. What about a bit of cardiac massage?" To which the subtext friendly fan responds "He could be right. Or mouth to mouth..." as she gazes at Gabrielle.
• Once again, the subtext friendly fan gets caught up in the moment: "Think about the fun they had together; the baths they shared." "If you're talking about their 'special relationship'" responds the male fan, "I'm into that! Just let me watch."
• A long subtext montage is shown to the clones to attempt to counteract the evil Xena clips shown.
• After the clones awake, the subtext friendly fan thinks to herself, "I know... after lights out I'll play them a full season of Ellen episodes!"
• When the clones watch a scene of Xena and Gabrielle kissing, Gabrielle looks uncomfortable while Xena looks pleased and satisfied.
• Xena reacts to Lucy Lawless' portayal of her: "I like the one that plays me. She's kinda sexy."
• Puzzled after watching several full episodes, Gabrielle asks "What are they trying to say about our relationship anyway?"
  "Who knows," responds Xena.
• When "Alti" puts her arm around Gabrielle, she reacts rather strongly, if uncertainly, to it.
• The subtext fan reacts to a discussion of Gabrielle: "She's plenty more than just a sidekick!"
• Xena is brought back to the side of good by Gabrielle's stirring of her memories which sparks another subtext montage.
• When Xena and Gabrielle are seen driving off in a taxi at the end of the episode, Xena has her arm around Gabrielle and they are clinking a couple of champagne glasses together.

Commentary:

Another over-the-top episode that is based on a cute idea but is just so exaggerated and in-your-face with its slapstickish jokes that it makes it difficult to enjoy. Nobody enjoys a good poke at obsessive compulsive fans like me, but the charicatures in this episode are so two-dimensional and over done that they lack any interest for me. The plot is weak at best. Alti has brought Xena to life to ruin her reputation? How many times has Xena defeated Alti? Has Alti become the stupidest person in history during her journey through time?

Several other things caught my eye in this episode: As Alti holds up Xena's chakram in the begining, while it is touching nothing but air and her hand, it makes a metal-chinging-on-metal noise. When she hands an envelope of cash to her lackey, he starts to flip through it and she says "It's all there." He stops. I think this line has made it into every movie since 1920. I could be wrong. I loved that the evil Xena montage showed to the clone was on a disk which was clearly marked in big, bright letters, "Evil Xena" and also had some sort of "Evil Xena" screen saver on it. I like Star Trek just fine. I also am amused by the jab at the end of the episode against Star Trek fans. But any simpleton knows that Doctor Spock has nothing to do with Star Trek and was an author of books on rearing children. It's Mister Spock, people.

To Helicon and Back

To Helicon And Back

Written by Liz Friedman & Vanessa Place
Directed by Michael Hurst

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

The Amazons are attacked during a ceremony to celebrate their strength and Varia is abducted.

Segment two:

Recognizing the attackers as an army from Helicon, the Amazons launch their counter-attack to free Varia. As the Amazons sneak to the coastal fortress in a ship, Xena infiltrates the castle to kill the leader. He turns out to be Bellerophon, the half-god son of Artemis, out to seek his revenge against the Amazons for abandoning his mother, and especially against Xena for killing her. Xena fights him and barely escapes while the ship is bombarded by catapult.

Segment three:

Their ship sinking, the Amazons swim to the beachfront under heavy arrow and catapult fire. They meet up with Xena after suffering heavy casualties. Varia is released and wants to retreat, but Xena and Gabrielle talk her into continuing the assault. When Gabrielle goes searching for the trail to the castle that Varia descended, Varia attempts to assassinate her.

Segment four:

Xena prevents Varia from shooting Gabrielle. Varia had made a deal with Bollerophon: if she killed Gabrielle, he would spare her tribe. Gabrielle strips Varia of her queenhood. After swimming through shark infested waters, Gabrielle ralles the troops for their final assault.

Segment five:

Xena challenges Bollerophon to a duel. He easily beats her and she retreats, leading him and his troops into a trap. The amazons dispatch his army while Xena kills Bollerophon.

No shark bait was harmed during the making of this motion picture.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Xena is sexcused from the ceremony because she is not an Amazon. As she goes to sleep in the woods, she and Gabrielle exchange looks as Xena warns her "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
• Bellerophon's vengeance would be sated if Varia killed Gabrielle? Apparently even he recognizes how much suffering that would cause Xena.

Commentary:

Some things I noticed while watching this episode: Amazons really seem to like to break into dance numbers. Why is my life not like this? And did you hear that metal-on-metal clang when Varia is knocked out at the begining? I know she is wearing a headband, but it's not that big! And where di the Amazons get that boat from? They have always lived in the middle of the forest! They're like ewoks or something.

While this is a far cry from the best episode they have ever done, it is one of the better episodes this season and certainly the best out of the last several episodes shown. Michael Hurst does a good job directing and this episode reflects when I think Xena works best: when it takes itself seriously. And this episode returns to one of Xena's great themes: violence corrupts the soul. Gabrielle is uneasy with her role as Amazon queen and the things she is required to do for the good of the tribe. This makes her character three dimensional, adds some conflict to the show, and makes sitting there for an hour worth the effort, instead of getting a few 'hyuk-hyuks' out of it.

Path of Vengeance

Path Of Vengeance

Written by Joel Metzger
Directed by Chris Martin-Jones

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

Eve decides to visit the Amazons to offer them peace as a representative of the new roman emperor. However all the various tribes have united under Varia and they respond to Eve and her unwanted guard of roman troops with force. Eve is captured and all the troops but one massacred. Xena and Gabrielle meet up with the one survivor who tells them of Eve's capture.

Segment two:

Xena and Gabrielle find the remains of the battle and are allowed to visit the council as they try Eve for her crimes as Livia. Varia tells the story of Livia visiting her tribe with roman soldiers, capturing all of the amazons to be sold as slaves and killing her sister. Eve admits that she did these crimes. The council votes to execute her.

Segment three:

Xena recognizes Varia's sword as a gift from Ares and is told that Ares is trying to build a strong Amazon nation. She offers as Eve's defense that she was operating under Ares' direction at the time and the Amazons must understand that they too are being manipulated for his own agenda. The council votes again, this time with Gabrielle but once again returns a guilty verdict.

Segment four:

Ares reveals to Xena that he is brewing the biggest war in history: the amazons versus the romans. Meanwhile, in council, Gabrielle challenges Varia's right to rule the amazons. Unfortunately for Gabrielle, Varia easily defeats her in combat.

Segment five:

Xena has an long battle with Varia at Eve's execution. She eventually makes Varia realize that she has become what she hates most: a copy of Livia, a puppet of Ares. Eve, now free, says goodbye to her mother and Gabrielle as she heads to Indus and Chin.

Disclaimer: The disclaimers for this episode were harmed during the making of this motion picture.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Xena cradles Gabrielle in her arms after her beating from Varia.
• After given her freedom, Eve pats Xena on the arm but embraces Gabrielle.
• While saying goodbye to her mother, Eve tells Gabrielle "Thank you for saving my mother and bringing her such happiness." They then embrace.

Commentary:

One of the things I hadn't realized I missed was the old Ares. I think it's a testament to Kevin Smith's good job as an actor that there is such a noticeable difference between mortal Ares and god Ares. Other than that, there is not much to say about this episode. It's fairly standard Xena fare. I find it difficult to believe that Gabrielle was so easily beaten by Varia. I find it odd, too, that the amazons have their own acid pools with which to execute prisoners.

You Are There

You Are There

Written by Chris Black
Directed by John Laing

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

Xena and Gabrielle travel to the Norse lands. Intercepted by Valkyries, they fight them off until a modern roving reporter, complete with camera man and microphone tries to interview them.

Segment two:

The reporter accuses Xena of coming to kill Odin and make herself a god. She storms away, incensed. He then travels to the river Styx and interviews Charon about Xena's bloody path across the known world. He also bumps into Caligula, on his way to the underworld. Caligula denouces Xena's heroic intentions and claims she just loves the violence as much as he did. The reporter also manages to get an interview with Odin who claims that Xena is in collusion with Ares, her true love, to steal the golden apples and makes themselves gods.

Segment three:

After finding Xena and Ares together in a shack at the end of town, the reporter then travels to Heaven and interviews Michael, who accuses Xena of always following her own desires, whatever the consequences. Next he travels to Hell and Satan talks of his hatred for her. Eve is interviewed next and freaks out in defense of her mother. Finally, Gabrielle is brought into the studio where she reveals that she does not love Xena.

Segment four:

Xena arrives and tells the reporter that love has left the world. Trying to verify the story, the reporter travels to a bordello where he finds Ares and a booming business. A cloaked figure suggests that he "follow the love" so he tracks down Aphrodite who confirms that without her to replenish the world's love, it has disappeared. The reporter then finds Xena in Valhalla, battling Odin.

Segment five:

Xena defeats Odin and gives the golden apples to Ares and Aphrodite, restoring their godhoods. Love returns to the world.

Disclaimer: The concept of linear time was severly harmed during the making of this motion picture.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Xena warns a stagehand who is trying to attach a microphone to Gabrielle's top: "You watch your hands, buddy."
• Caligula hints at their relationship: "She and that bard of hers--yeah like we don't know what's going on there."
• Gabrielle is put on the hot seat by the reporter: "Gabrielle, isn't it possible that you are confused by your own feelings for Xena?"
  "My feelings for Xena?"
  "Come on, Gabrielle, I know that Xena is more to you than just a friend."
  "Okay, your right. She's my best friend."
  "What would you say, Gabrielle, if I told you that not too long ago I found your 'friend,' Xena, in a tumble down little love shack at the edge of town in the arms of Ares? How do you feel about that, Gabrielle?"
  "I don't know how I feel."
  "Tell us the truth. You and Xena are lovers, aren't you? Or should I say you were lovers until you were replaced by Ares? Gabrielle, are you in love with Xena?"
  "I don't love Xena."
• The reporter asks "Xena, are you in love with Gabrielle?" She answers by telling him that mortals have lost the ability to love.
• After an argument Gabrielle remarks, "We're saying things that people who love each other would never say."
• Aphrodite says: "Gabrielle, I have to say I'm glad to see you're still travelling with Xena. I was afraid that with me away from Olympus you two might not be so close."
  To which Gabrielle responds: "No, we're partners."
• When love returns and everyone is feeling its effects, Xena and Gabrielle stare at each other, smiling.
• The final scene of the show is the reporter confronting Xena and Gabrielle with the following question.
  "Gabrielle, Xena, I have only one more question left. The question that Gabrielle has been avoiding all evening. The question that has never been answered. Are you two lovers?"
  Xena responds, "You're asking--"
  "That's right, I'm asking. Are you two lovers?"
  "That's non of your beeswax, Nigel"
  "Okay Xena," interrupts Gabrielle, "You just risked everything to bring love back into the world."
  "So what?"
  "I think you should answer the question."
  "You do, do you?"
  "Yeah."
  "And now, ladies and gentlemen," says Nigel, "A world exclusive, for the first time anywhere, Xena and Gabrielle reveal the true nature of their relationship. Gabrielle, Xena, are you two lovers?"
  "You want the truth?" asks Xena.
  "That's right, Xena, we want the truth. The whole world wants the truth."
  "It's like this--technically..."
  And then the camera operator's battery dies.

Commentary:

I find this episode insulting. It is after watching episodes like this that I realize how little Xena has been willing to give to us, the viewers. There is very little growth in this series. Everything stays the same. I'm no expert, but it seems to me that this type of television went out of style about a decade ago. Nowadays, shows evolve, characters evolve, writers take chances. Just look at Ally McBeal (I've watched that show a couple of times, but years ago so I may be wrong.) It used to be that the quirky things that happened inside of Ally's head were just that...quirky things. I checked in with the show a year later and guess what? These "imaginations" of Ally had taken a darker turn; she was almost a victim of her own mind. I thought that this was an interesting idea for them to explore; it added a whole new dimension to the series. Xena stopped evolving about two years ago. And now they are giving another obligatory nod to us, the subtext fans by hinting but refusing to once again say anything definitve. How long can you make the relationship between the two main characters vague? How can you possibly keep viewers watching your show when you will not commit to something as fundamental as that?! Choose one relationship or the other, we have a right to know how the two main characters relate. But six years of this straddling the fence is just a slap in our faces.

Okay, so ignoring the subtext, this episode had a good gimmick which I think could have been explored or played with more, but was only used on its most superficial level. I never felt that the reporter was right and that Xena was perhaps reverting to her dark side. So this was sixty minutes of watching someone you know is wrong trying to figure out something for himself which is obvious to everyone else. I find that a difficult definition of "fun" or "entertaining." Though I do have to say that Eve's 'freak out' was funny.

The God You Know

The God You Know

Written by Emily Skopov
Directed by Garth Maxwell

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

At the scene of a warlike atrocity, the Archangel Michael warns Xena and Gabrielle that Caligula is out of control and has achieved immortality. In Rome, Eve confronts Caligula in defiance of his Cult Of Blood. Xena arrives, saving her, but is thwarted from killing Caligula by Ares, who reveals that since Aphrodite's and Caligula's lives are bound, killing one would kill the other.

Segment two:

Gabrielle escorts Eve to safety. Xena challenges Caligula to a chariot race, he is intrigued so she and Gabrielle are invited into the palace. There, Gabrielle realizes that Aphrodite does not recognize them while Xena is in the dungeon getting information from Ares. He reveals that Caligula is taking Aphrodite's godhood from her. She has become unbalanced and insane without the God Of War to balance her. Caligula orders Xena to kill Ares as a test of her worthiness.

Segment three:

Xena and Gabrielle turn the execution into a sexual floor show, with Xena enticing Caligula by biting his lip, cutting him. Fearing his immortality is in jeapordy, Caligula clears the room. Xena reveals that she is the Irish Goddess Of Sex and can kill gods. She offers to join forces with Caligula. Michael fetches Eve and draws her to Caligula.

Segment four:

Xena convinces Caligula to delay Eve's execution until a more public moment. Michael appears and attempts to assassinate Aphrodite but Xena interferes and beats him. The god of Eli revokes her ability to kill gods. Caligula kisses Aphrodite for the last time, stealing what remains of her godhood.

Segment five:

Murdering Eve is offered as the prize in a chariot race between Caligula and Xena. After she wins, Xena reveals who she is and that she has come to kill Caligula. She offers him the honorable way out: suicide. He accepts.

Disclaimer: Gabrielle's undercover disguise was severly harmed during the making of this motion picture.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Xena and Gabrielle bathe nude together in the roman palace. Xena washes Gabrielle.
• Aphrodite hits on Gabrielle: "I've never been so happy" she declares just before kissing Gabrielle.
• Aphrodite reacts with recognition and interest when Gabrielle dances for her and Caligula.
• Gabrielle comforts Aphrodite by gently stroking her face.
• When Xena finds Michael standing over Aphrodite and Gabrielle with his sword raised, she accuses him of "going after my girlfriends."
• Aprhodite wakes as her old self when her godhood is removed and finds Gabrielle hovering over her. "Gabrielle, I know we're, like, close, but is this appropriate?" she asks.
• Grabbing Gabrielle and Eve, Xena annouces "I've still got my two greatest gifts and I have no intention of losing either of them."

Commentary:

Oh my goodness this is so bad. Caligula, the insane emperor of Rome is introduced in this episode and rather than dark and menacing and scary he is... (and if you have been reading any of my reviews lately you should really see this one coming) ...wacky and zany! Oh wow! How exciting and new! I have been waiting and waiting for another wacky and zany episode! sigh...

Do they bother to explain how Caligula is stealing Aphrodite's power? Nope. He just kisses her and sucks it out. Do they bother to explain how they possibly got together in the first place since Aphrodite thinks Caligula is disgusting? Nope. Do they explain why Xena has a chariot race with Claigula at the end? Nope. She just decides it's something she need to do before revealing who she is. Xena just needed a little drama in her life.

Maybe I've been watching "Gladiator" too many times, but it is just so sad to contrast that with this episode. In Xena, Rome is perhaps a large village of several hundred people. None of the roads are paved. Their emperor walks amongst them with about three guards.

Yeah, there is some subtext in this episode. But at what price? This episode is an affront to my intelligence. I walked away actually feeling stupider for the hour of my life that is now gone.

Dangerous Prey

Dangerous Prey

Written by Joel Metzger
Directed by Renee O'Connor

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

An amazon, Marga, is being hunted in the woods. After being caught in traps, she is confonted by her pursuer. Meanwhile, Xena and Gabrielle arrive in the amazon village. They learn that the amazons have been disappearing one by one. Varia rushes out to find Marga, and Xena follows her trying to protect her. Together they find Marga dying with a challenge carved into her body.

Segment two:

Varia takes off after Marga's killer and is quickly caught in a trap by some ruffians. They reveal they have caught her for the sport of their leader, Prince Morlock. Xena rescues Varia, but leashes her to protect her from herself. Arriving in an abandoned building, Xena tries to teach Varia to control her anger, but Varia attacks Xena instead. Xena easily defeats her.

Segment three:

Varia agrees to be taught and together she and Xena set a trap for Morlock. He deduces the trap, though, and lures Xena into a cave. Varia tires of waiting for Xena and enters the cave to search her out. She is immediately captured by Morlock.

Segment four:

Xena blows up the caves and escapes. She then decides that rather than being hunted, she will now hunt Morlock. But he anticipates this and sets the forest on fire to flush her out. She bends down a tree and launches Varia over the fires, but Varia is caught in Morlock's waiting net.

Segment five:

Varia is taken to the "arena." Xena arrives and she and Morlock battle around the arena until Xena defeats him. Varia is given Marga's right of caste and becomes the new queen of the amazons.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Xena says: "Varia, this is where you get to do exactly what I say, when I say it."
  "Just give me the word."
  "Ready to take your clothes off?"

Commentary:

Boring. No subtext. Uninteresting. Getting the picture? Am I really concerned that the bad guy if the week is going to defeat Xena? Nope. What makes him different from every other bad guy of the week? Um... Well he's got that triangle chakram thingy... uh...

What really confuses me is that they keep insisting throughout the episode the Varia is the last hope for the Amazons. Should anything happen to her, there will be no more Amazons. They don't exactly explain why this is. I mean, when they start off and end up in the village, there sure seem to be plenty of Amazons to me. Are they all sterile or something?

Old Ares Had a Farm

Old Ares Had A Farm

Written by R.J. Stewart
Directed by Charles Siebert

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

Arriving in a seedy bar, Xena starts questioning some suspicious characters. After a quick fight, she convinces one of them to confess that they have gathered to hunt down and kill Ares for the bounty that several warlords have placed on his head. Xena and Gabrielle find Ares and convince him to try a new identity, a farmer.

Segment two:

The three of them arrive at Xena's old family farm. While they are fixing it up, a neighbor stops by to warn them that she heard there was an army heading in their direction. Xena intercepts the army and offers the warlord Ares' head.

Segment three:

The warlord accepts Xena's offer to help kill Ares. She returns to the farm where several whacky scenes show Ares coping with farm life, including the three of them in bed together, a mischievous dog, a friendly neighbor, and him trying to kill chickens. All this comes in jeapordy, though, when a scouting party from the warlord's army appears.

Segment four:

Ares and Gabrielle pose as a farmer and wife. As they are being questioned, Xena rides up. She interrogates the farmer, and finds out that Ares had passed through several days ago. The search party heads off to inform the army of the sighting. Later, a travelling salesman comes and retrieves his dog from Ares. The warlord later bumps into this salesman and dog and sees the dog chewing on Ares' gauntlet. Finding out that the dog was found on a farm, he heads towards Xena and the gang.

Segment five:

Xena and Gabrielle arrive in the warlord's tent. Xena is there to dissuade him from going to the farm, but Gabrielle is there to denounce Xena. It seems that Xena has fallen in love with Ares and left Gabrielle behind. After telling the warlord where Ares can really be found, she and Xena fight it out. Falling for this ruse, the warlord sends his army to Ares hiding spot, which in reality is a cave containing an eight headed monster sure to kill them all. Xena and Gabrielle leave Ares to his new found lifestyle.

Disclaimer: Ares went to the dogs during the making of this motion picture.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Ares muses on what he would like on his "plantation", he mentions "Half a dozen flute playing girls."
  "That's just what I was thinking," Xena tells Gabrielle.
• While the three of them try sleeping in the same bed, Xena notices that Gabrielle's hand is too close to Ares pelvis, and moves it a safe distance away.
• Ares asks Gabrielle, "Is there anything you and I agree on?"
  Gabrielle looks at Xena and Ares replies "Oh yeah."
• Gabrielle's feigned jealousy at Xena's betrayal is readily accepted by the warlord and his henchman.
• Gabrielle gives Ares a smug smile when Xena refuses to kiss him goodbye.

Commentary:

One of the types of episodes that I just can't stand is one that can be summed up in two words: "Whacky zanniness." Sadly, that is what this episode is all about. It offers no real plot or emotions, just campy humor. But not humor that is character based or could ever be called "witty." Nope, this is a show about a dog licking Ares, Ares falling through a roof, Ares trying to kill a chicken but (hyuck hyuck!) that darn chicken is just too fast for him. Sorry for the downer folks, but after episodes like this, I am glad that Xena is ending. Go watch Buffy. They're not even afraid to write lesbian characters.

Return of the Valkyrie

Return Of The Valkyrie

Written by Emily Skopov
Directed by John Fawcett

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

One year has passed since the events of the previous episode. Lord Erik leads his vikings to rescue Gabrielle, but is warned by Beowolf that doing so is suicide. Grinhilda arrives and kills several vikings. Lord Erik attempts to pass through the flame, but is disintegrated. Beowolf leads the retreat and decides it is time to return to Denmark and enlist the aid of his friend, King Rothgar. They arrive to find a celebration underway; King Rothgar is about to wed Welthea. Welthea arrives and Beowolf realizes it is Xena.

Segment two:

During the wedding ceremony, Xena experiences flashbacks to her previous life. Rothgar later turns out to be a creep, capable of rape. After confiding the truth to Rothgar's sister, Beowolf visits Xena in her bedchamber. They are immediatly interrupted by an angry and jealous Rothgar.

Segment three:

Beowolf and Xena escape from Rothgar's castle and travel towards the ring. When their ship lands, they are attacked by the Valkyrie.

Segment four:

Xena orders the vikings to drop their weapons and defends herself from the Valkyrie attack. Odin arrives and realizes that Xena is not a threat, and that it will be easy to take the ring from her after she has retrieved it. The Valkyrie, acting on their own, attack Xena again when she reaches Gabrielle. She defeats them again, but Grinhilda arrives.

Segment five:

Xena leaps through the flame and awakens Gabrielle. She then uses the power of the ring to restore Grinhilda. She travels to Valhalla and insists Odin receive Grinhilda as chief of the Valkyrie once more. Lastly, she returns the Rheingold to the Rheinmaidens.

Disclaimer: Any similarity between our story and the classic children's fairy tale is purely coincidental.

Moments Of Subtext:

• The Valkyrie discuss Gabrielle: "Our sister, Brunhilda, turned herself to flame to protect Gabrielle. Perhaps she's not so ordinary. And Xena, Xena seems to care a great deal for her, too."
• Xena makes and odd confession to her husband: "Our union has given me a new purpose. You've always known that my priorities are different than other women's."
• Xena sees a vision of Gabrielle, holding out her hand. "I'm lost without you, Xena," she says.
• Beowolf chastizes Xena: "...the Xena I remember could never forget what happened in that swamp, the face of Gabrielle, the most loyal friend in the world."
• As Xena removes her wedding ring, she has a vision of Gabrielle. "I am the truth of who you are. Our souls are united, Xena" says Gabrielle, reaching out to touch Xena's face.
• "This Gabrielle truely loved Xena, didn't she?" asks Xena.
  "And will until the end of time," responds Beowolf.
• "Brunhilda's flame will recognize you as Gabrielle's soulmate," instructs Beowolf when they reach the flame.
• Xena's face as she beholds Gabrielle 'for the first time' is full of love.
• "The love in your heart burns stronger than any flame. You belong together, Xena" says Brunhilda.
• "I have no quarrel with you, I'm here only for Gabrielle" says Xena.
  "You sound like one of those pathetic love sick boys who burn themselves to a crisp" retorts a Valkyrie.
• Xena awakens Gabrielle with a kiss. As she awakens, a montage of 'togetherness' scenes scrolls by. She and Xena embrace. "I dreamed you'd come back for me."
• "Even though I didn't remember you, I felt your presence. I knew that I would never be complete unless those shadows were brought into the light" confesses Xena.
• "You have a good heart, Beowolf. If it weren't for you, I'd still be in Brunhilda's flame" says Gabrielle.
  "I think we both know Xena would have found you eventually" confesses Beowolf.
• Gabrielle finds much time to snuggle Xena as she rides behind her on a Valkyrie's horse.
• "Momories are powerful, Xena. I'm so thankful that yours brought you back to me" says Gabrielle.
• "What magic has made Xena into such a noble creature that she would give up the power of the Rheingold?" asks a Rhainmaiden.
  "It wasn't magic" responds Xena, exchanging a significant look with Gabrielle.

Commentary:

Here concludes the Norse trilogy, and just to show how good it was, especially considering Season Five (Scott! Will you just get over Season Five and let it die a much deserved death! -ed.) I have absolutely no complaints. How's that for an early x-mas present? In fact, now that the trilogy has come and gone, I find it difficult to believethat there may be anybody out there who has any doubts of the true nature of Xena and Gabrielle's relationship. But then again, some folks will just not believe until they see some x-rated material.

The Ring

The Ring

Written by Joel Metzger
Directed by Rick Jacobson

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

Gabrielle, Beowolf, and Brunhilda split up to search for Xena. Gabrielle finds her first. As the others assemble, they realize Grendel has cut off their retreat.

Segment two:

Inside Grendel's lair, Xena fills her companions in on how Grendel was created. After Xena forged a ring from the Rheingold, she was attacked by Grinhilda. Grinhilda stole the ring and nearly defeated Xena, but had not forsaken love and was therefore cursed by the ring to destroy her essence. She turned into Grendel. In the present, Xena lures Grendel into the lair but is trapped with the monster behind a landslide.

Segment three:

Xena kills Grendel and retrieves the ring. She quickly realizes that Grendel is not Grinhilda. Grinhilda is still on the loose. Brunhilda meets up with Odin, revealing that she is really a Valkyrie, and he reprimands her for not killing Xena and stealing the ring. He sends the rest of the Valkyrie to fight Xena. During the melee Brunhilda captures Gabrielle.

Segment four:

Odin arrives and reveals that he wants the ring to protect himself from other gods and godkillers. Xena and Beowolf escape and follow Gabrielle. Odin teams up with Grinhilda and together they and the Valkyries attack Xena. Beowolf is quickly wounded, and knowing she is outmatched, Xena puts on the ring knowing it will destroy her essence.

Segment five:

Xena easily defeats everybody and flips away, looking for Gabrielle. When Brunhilda encounters her, though, the curse has occured. Xena no longer knows who she is or has any memory of Gabrielle. Xena gives the ring to Brunhilda, drops her weapons and wanders away. Brunhilda gives the ring to Gabrielle and turns herself into an eternal flame around her to protect her.

Disclaimer:Gabrielle's popularity soared during the making of this motion picture.

Moments Of Subtext:

• When Gabrielle finally finds Xena, they embrace and Gabrielle says, "Don't ever leave me again."
• Brunhilda confesses, "Xena, I have waited my entire life to meet you."
• Xena tells Brunhilda, "Well, I've gotten a lot smarter since then. I've learned to respect life, love, and peace."
  "Why, what happened?" asks Brunhilda.
  Xena exchanges significant glances with Gabrielle. "Lot's of reasons," she answers.
• "Gabrielle, I know better than to try to talk you into leaving," remarks Xena, "But you two should go; live to fight another day. This is my battle."
  "Our battle," corrects Gabrielle.
  "I won't leave Gabrielle," retorts Brunhilda.
• During their attack on Grendel, Gabrielle is hit and Brunhilda goes beserk trying to protect her.
• Gabrielle explains to Brunhilda: "There's fighting for what you believe in, for people that you love." (Xena looks at Gabrielle)
  "You know, before I met you, I never thought of a warrior as having any love but the love of battle," confesses Burnhilda.
  (Xena rolls her eyes.)
• Xena becomes jealous of Brunhilda's obvious attraction to Gabrielle.
• Odin confronts Brunhilda: "My ravens, they tell me you've fallen in love with her partner. Is it possible you thought that killing Xena would kill any chance you had with Gabrielle?"
  "Those mangy stoolpigeons."
• Odin instructs his Valkyrie: "She has a weakness: her partner, Gabrielle."
• Brunhilda revals why she has captured Gabrielle for herself: "Is Xena all you think about?"
  "Xena's my family. She's the most important thing in my life."
  "Gabrielle, listen to me: I bring to Valhalla the bravest warrior slain in battle. Heroes. But your heart has more truth and courage than any that I've seen. The beauty inside you burns like a star, Gabrielle. I was supposed to betray you and Xena, but I couldn't. Not now. You've changed me. You've opened my eyes and you've changed me the way you changed Xena."
  "I don't know what to say. I'm sorry."
  "I defied my god for you, Gabrielle!"
• Later, Gabrielle tries to explain the situation to Brunhilda:"Xena and I have a connection. It's stronger than either one of us. We're soulmates."
  "My love is strong; I can feel it."
  "I'm trying to tell you that Xena and I are meant to be together. We didn't make it that way; it just is."
  "I can see your heart lies with Xena, but I'll prove to you which one of us deserves your love."
• Brunhilda wants to prove herself to Gabrielle: "They're gonna kill her before I get a chance to prove my love for you!"
  "What are you fighting for? You want to win my love? You're gonna shed blood for what? For me? You call that love?"
• Brunhilda reveals what has happened to Gabrielle: "Xena put on the ring."
  "No!"
  "And she lost what she values most: you."
• Brunhilda gives the ring to Gabrielle: "This ring is too powerful to fall into undeserving hands. And so are you. I'll become an eternal flame for you. Only your true soulmate will be able to pass through the fire."

Commentary:

Wow, what can I say? Just look at all the subtext in this episode! In fact, this episode goes further than any other episode, for unlike The Crusader where Njara develops a 'thing' for Gabrielle which is subtextual, Brunhilda in this episode clearly falls in love with Gabrielle in a maintextual way. There is no skirting the issue in this one, this is the first instance of an out lesbian on Xena. This is one of those historic episodes, a milestone. And Gabrielle's responses to this affection are perfect. It is not that she has a problem with Brunhilda's advances, it is that they come into conflict with her relationship with Xena.

Poor Beowolf. For such a mythic figure, he sure comes across as a bit of a wuss. For one thing, what is the source of his respect and love for Gabrielle? He has barely spent any time around her! He mentioned this love in the previous episode, and he had never spoken to her, he had merely seen her eating at a table in a tavern from afar. He also gets the stuffing beaten out of him. We get no display of extraordinary prowess from him. Unless you count that line where they are searching for Xena, and he finds her blood on a tree. How can he tell Xena blood from other kinds of blood? Either he is really perceptive, or he is just stuck with bad lines.

And speaking of poor displays of fighting skill, what is wrong with poor Grinhilda? During the flashback, she throws away every possible advantage during her fight with Xena. She decides she is going to put on the ring to gain brief super-powers. So she announces that this is what she'll do. She then spends a few minutes with her hand and the ring poised to put it on while she discusses the situation with Xena. THEN she puts the ring on. But her advantages aren't completely blown, for Xena does not press the attack. She stands there and allows Grinhilda to do this, then waits while the ring takes its effect, THEN attacks.

There are some good inside references/jokes in this episode. Xena's comment to Grendel: "Come get some" is right out of Army Of Darkness (a Rob Tapert production) and Gabrielle's acknowledgement to Xena that "I never listen" when Xena asks her why she didn't do what she was told.

I would like to now officially declare this the best subtext season ever, even though we are a mere eight episodes into the season. Even if they stopped right here and did fourteen different versions of The King Of Cons, they have earned major kudos from me for what they have done so far.

The Rheingold

The Rheingold

Written by R.J. Stewart
Directed by John Fawcett

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

35 years in the past, Xena battles a gigantic monster while boasting that he cannot win while she possesses a certain ring (which she is wearing.) She corners him in a cave and chains him in there, but he manages to steal the ring. Vowing that he will never escape to use its powers, she climb onto her horse and rides off into the sky. In the present, a man named Beowolf intorduces himself to Xena, and shows her the lock she had used to chain the monster, now broken open.

Segment two:

Xena becomes moody but is unwilling to talk about it with Gabrielle. When Gabrielle wakes up the next morning, Xena has left a note saying that she is going on a mission from which she does not expect to return. Gabrielle follows her anyway, to Scandinavia. There she encounters a woman who tells her of Xena's past as a Valkyrie. She had ridden to Scandinavia from Chin, and encountered Odin who had crucified himself because he could not stand the endless conflict that is life. Xena teaches him to embrace that conflict. He learns from her lust for life and makes her one of his Valkyrie. She quickly comes into conflict with Odin's former lover, Grinhilda. Xena convinces some men to fight to the death against superior numbers in Odin's name. When they die, she does not escort their souls to rest in Valhalla. Grinhilda chastizes her, but Odin takes Xena's side.

Segment three:

In the present Gabby is attacked by a woman who wants to prove that she can fight alongside Xena. Acknowledging that she and Gabrielle may be equals, she continues the story of Xena's past. Odin teaches Xena magic, but she hungers for more power. She expresses her love for Odin and asks for information on the Rheingold. Grinhilda confronts Odin and explains that Xena now seeks the Rheinmaidens so that she may have the ring. Odin gives command of the Valkyries back to Grinhilda and they hunt down Xena. After an aerial fight, Grinhilda and Xena fall to the earth.

Segment four:

Both Xena and Grinhilda survive the fall. Xena knocks out her opponent and rides off. She finds the Rheinmaidens and befriends them. She convinces one of them to show her the location of the Rheingold. She then knocks out the maiden and swims off. She forges the gold into a ring. In the present, Gabrielle mentions Beowolf and the raven lock to her friend. Her friend instantly realizes why Xena must have returned, and that it is a suicide mission.

Segment five:

In the present, Xena and Beowolf fight Grendel. Gabrielle eventually arrives only to find that Grendel bested them both and dragged away Xena.

Disclaimer: No flying horses were harmed during the making of this motion picture, although several villages were bombarded with aerial manure.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Xena is unwilling to discuss with Gabrielle why she is leaving. "I'm not trying to shut you out. You know our friendship is the most important thing in my life. But in this case--"
• When Gabrielle wakes the next morning, she finds a message that Xena has left, signed with a kiss.
• In the note, Xena says "Whatever happens, know that my love for you is endless."
• Gabrielle follows Xena on her suicide mission, once again stating that "her path is my path."
• Gabrielle reacts to the stories of Xena as a Valkyrie. "Poor Xena."
  "Poor Xena? You haven't been listening very well, have you?"
  "Xena thought that she could live without love. I know that she can't because she's my friend."
• The Rheinmaidens and Xena frolick in the water with tons of subtext. The maidens each profess their love for Xena. One even swims under her and Xena reacts to something done to her underwater, and the maiden comes up giggling.
• As a reward for showing her the Rheingold, Xena tells one of the maidens, "I can play with you all day."
• As they swim towards the Rheingold, Xena grabs one of the maidens in an underwater embrace.
• Gabrielle and her friend discuss Xena. "You love her very much, don't you?"
  "She's my best friend. I know her like I know my own heart."
  "A friendship like that is something to be envied."
  "It has a price, like everything."
  "A price you love paying."
  "Yeah."
• Beowolf and Xena discuss Gabrielle. "You miss your friend, don't you?"
  "Sure."
  "She's very beautiful."
  "Yes, she is."
• Gabrielle's friend is envious of Xena and Gabrielle's relationship. "I wish I had a friend like you."
  "You do," responds Gabrielle, reaching out to her.

Commentary:

The loving in this episode is amazing considering Xena and Gabrielle spend very little time around each other. It is satisfying to see, though, that when they are not together, they are talking about each other.

I don't hate it, but I am a little dissatisfied with this addition to Xena's backstory. Previously, I have loved all of out trips into Xena's past, charting the movement from Evil-Xena to Good-Xena. But being a Valkyrie? Wooing the king of the norse gods? That's just a bit over the top for me. (Which is saying a lot considering I accepted that she went to China and learned magic powers there, only to forget how to use them.) Maybe this means she will go to Valhalla the next time she dies. They seem to have run out of all the other afterlifes (that they have mentioned.)

And what is up with Xena's math skills? She claims that the lock she uses on Grendel will hold him for eternity, but instead it lasts a mere 35 years. Xena, that ain't even close! Not by a long shot! But I do have to congratulate the special effects team on the flying horses. They looked a lot better than I thought they would (if I knew that they were coming.) Grendel himself also looks really nifty, though he doesn't move so good.

Grinhilda seems to know what is going on and has a good head on her shoulders, but when she suggests that some soldiers surrender and ask for mercy from beserkers? Does she even know what the word means? And speaking of people who behave oddly, what is with the blonde girl's attack on Gabrielle? This fight makes absolutely no sense. I get the feeling it was put in solely because someone decided they needed an action scene, and they came up with the fastest excuse for one.

And how do Xena and Grinhilda survive their 1,000+ foot fall from their flying horses?

But you just have to love those Rheinmaidens. I haven't seen this much lesbianism since the movie "Go Fish." Once again, I have to proclaim that this season rocks!

But they still seem to have that same editor on staff. For once again we have a flashback to what happened earlier in the episode. I really cannot believe that they think viewers are this dumb. Maybe they needed to pad out the episode so that it was long enough?

The Abyss

The Abyss

Written by James Kahn
Directed by Rick Jacobson

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

Virgil and his companion flee through the forest from a tribe of warriors. The warriors capture and drag Virgil's friend back to their village. Xena and Gabrielle arrive at Virgil's campsite only to find it deserted, with blood everywhere. Virgil creeps up to the tribe's village only to see them cooking his friend.

Segment two:

Virgil, running away from the village, sets off an alarm and is quickly captured but the cannibals. Xena and Gabrielle are also attacked as they search downstream for Virgil. Gabrielle hesitates long enough to get stabbed and thrown in the river. Xena dives in after her, but Gabrielle's foot gets caught on a branch and she is dragged under.

Segment three:

Xena finds Gabrielle and drags her to a nearby cave. Gabrielle recovers, and Xena pries a piece of sword out of her side. As Xena cares for her, Gabrielle grows feverish and hallucinates back to when Xena was hunting her and Hope. When her fever breaks, Xena lashes her to her back and climbs the cliff in the rain. She tells Gabrielle to not be afraid, she will come for her, and then calls out to the cannibals and hides. The cannibals arrive and take Gabrielle back to their village.

Segment four:

While Gabrielle is treated by the cannibals for her wound, Xena scouts out the village in a uniform and mask she stole from two sentries she defeated. She spends the next day building a dam. Gabrielle, meanwhile, heals and is taken into the village, tied up, and covered with mud (and possibly herbs and spices.)

Segment five:

Xena arrives and fights off the whole village while the others make their escape. Xena leads the tribe to the dry side of the dam that she has constructed. Gabrielle eventually cuts the vine holding the dam together, and all the cannibals are killed as Xena jumps to safety.

Disclaimer: Virgil's appetite was suppressed during the making of this motion picture.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Gabrielle is still wracked with guilt for killing an innocent from the previous episode: "Xena, if I had listened to my heart do you think that boy would still be alive?"
  "You did listen to your heart. You thought he was going to kill me. Your heart said to protect me."
• Xena kisses Gabrielle's hand as Gabrielle halucinates about Hope, saying "I love you. I would never hurt you; you know that, don't you?"
• Gabrielle confesses to Xena, "Xena, I have a last request."
  "I don't want to hear it."
  "Not, I'm serious. You don't want to know?"
  "What is it then?"
  "I don't want to be buried with the amazons."
  "Alright. Well, in fifty years when the time comes..."
  "Xena, I want to lie with you, with your family in Amphipolis."
  "What about your family?"
  "I love them, but I'm a part of you. I want it to be like that forever."
• During the above speech, Xena caresses Gabrielle's face and they hold hands. Xena kisses the top of Gabrielle's head.
• Soon afterwards Gabrielle says "Any path is okay, Xena, as long as it's with you."
• When Gabrielle is captured by the cannibals, Virgils promises her that he will rescue them. Gabrielle merely says "Be ready when Xena comes." Her faith is with Xena, not any man.*

Commentary:

My goodness the subtext is out of control in this episode! The moments between Xena and Gabrielle in the cave are as intimate as it gets. Never have I felt this happy about the direction of their relationship. Here it is barely subtext, it is maintext! I just hope that this loving continues through the rest of the season. This looks to be the best subtext season ever!

I was a little disappointed to see that Gabrielle and her staff have not had a permanent reunion. She is back to her sai in this episode. She also comes to terms with the mistakes she has made and confirms that her path is with Xena and always will be. I can handle that with episodes like this.

The cannibals make really good villains in this episode as they are totally nasty looking and as vicious as they come. They make the Horde seem like little girls. But I have to admit that when the episode began and I saw all these people running around with pig heads, I thought that they had finally made a great looking monster. But then they just turned out to be masks. And these guys need some better fighting skills. Biting people during combat? That seems a little too close contact to be effective. Are their appetites really that out of control, or were they just trying to freak out their prey? Now, I don't know squat about being in a real fight, but I think I would not want my head that close to my enemy.

Some other odd things in this episode: Virgil goes crashing through the trees, panicking after seeing that the cannibals have cooked his chum. He trips over a wire, startling a bird which attracts the attention of the cannibals. Now, how did they heard the bird call but completely miss him knocking over trees while stumbling away? Must be selective hearing. When Xena brings Gabrielle's drowned body into the cave, I keep hearing wolf howls in the background. It seems to me to be an odd sound effect choice for a watery cave. And how does Xena revive Gabrielle from drowing? (Glad you asked!) She pats her face, and Gabrielle rouses herself, spitting up all the water she inhaled! Who would have thought it would be so easy?! Our heroines have become so adapted to dying that they are immune to it! And somebody tell Joseph LoDuca to calm down with the music while Xena is building her dam. Sounds like the Olympics or perhaps Braveheart is going on somewhere just off camera!

*Thanks Raquel!

Legacy

Legacy

Written by Melissa Good
Directed by Chris Martin-Jones

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

Xena and Gabrielle are lost in a sandstorm. After finding shelter in an oasis, they hear the sounds of a nearby fight. They quickly arrive to help a group of locals who are defending themselves from nomads. During the battle, Gabrielle takes a moment to stop herself from delivering a killing blow. After the fight, the locals accuse Xena of being an imposter. When Xena proves herself with a chakram demonstration, the locals bow down to her.

Segment two:

While being presented gifts, Xena and Gabrielle are asked to join the nomads in their battle against the Romans. They believe that the legends of Xena and Gabrielle will have a unifying effect on the various nomadic tribes. Visitng another tribe, they successfully orchestrate a union. Gabrielle befriends the leader's son and promises to teach him her defensive fighting. Dressed as a roman noblewoman and slave, Xena and Gabrielle learn that three legions are poised to attack the nomads. On their way back to their army, they become lost in a sandstorm. Gabrielle kills a shadowy figure sneaking up on Xena; it is the nomadic leader's son, and his 'weapon' was merely a scroll.

Segment three:

Xena returns the body to camp and explains that Romans killed the boy. Xena returns to Gabrielle and explains that she couldn't tell the truth; if the nomads find out Gabrielle is the murderer, they will kill her. The nomads arrive with a Roman they have captured, and whom they plan to torture and kill for the murder. Unable to let that happen, Gabrielle confesses.

Segment four:

Gabrielle is shackled and kept next to the body. After being hit and cursed by the father, Gabrielle tortures herself over her moral decay. At dawn the nomads bury her in the sand up to her neck. Xena goes to the romans, once again disguised as a noblewoman, and tells them where to find the nomads.

Segment five:

The execution is stopped by Xena and the nearby presence of Romans. Xena and Gabrielle help the nomands plan a defense. As a sandstorm strikes the Roman legions, the nomads and Xena leap out of the ground and strike in the confusion. Gabrielle at one point saves the life of the desert boy's father. Eventually the nomads win the day, and Gabrielle is forgiven.

Disclaimer: Despite severe air turbulence, no sand fleas were harmed during the production of this motion picture, although some experienced periodic bouts of motion sickness.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Xena and Gabrielle indulge in a little nude bathing while they are visiting the oasis.
• Xena and Gabrielle try to hide their disgust with the offer to sleep with a couple of the men in the nomadic tribe. (Okay, okay, the men were revolting but you all know if I didn't mention this I'd get a ton of emails!)
• Xena sees the desert boy washing Gabrielle's feet and gives them a disgusted look, then stands and grabs her weapons as if in warning.*
• Gabrielle is so overwhelemed with emotion when she sees Xena in danger that she overreacts and ends up killing an innocent.
• Xena is desperate to keep Gabrielle from killing herself/being executed. She pleads with Gabrielle not to tell the nomads: "Please! I beg you, please!" There is an amazing amount of emotion in this plea as I don't recall ever hearing Xena beg before.
• Xena bonds with Gabrielle over her death wish: "I felt that way once. I thought there was nothing left to live for; I was tired and hurting and I just wanted it to end."
  "What changed it for you?"
  "You did."
• "You saved me today, Xena, against the greater good. Why? Isn't that what we've been fighting for?"
  "Gabrielle, in everyone's life there's something that goes beyond the greater good. It's what you are in my life."

Commentary:

Right on! This is what it's all about to me. Gabrielle and Xena were the most boring couple when they were equals, almost mirror images of each other. That's one of the reasons Season Five sucked so much. Most people have described their relationship in that season as "business partners." This episode is a return to themes brought up in Season Four, themes I really loved. Last week I talked about the conflict Gabrielle should be having with her new found violence, and here it is. Thank you Melissa Good!

This is one of the few things that I am proud of in Xena. Or at least I was proud of it until the theme disappeared for over a year. You have what is on the surface a show about scantily clad women running around defending the weak with occasional strays into sophomoric humor. Not much to look at is it? As far as I can tell the appeal of the show has been with a relationship between the main characters that they are too cowardly to clarify, and a theme that is somewhat subversive: this show about violence can be really uncomfortable with that violence. Xena is trying to make up for her past. Gabrielle is trying to not become Xena. Main antagonists are those who promote violence (Ares, warlords). This is what redeems the show in my eyes from being another run of the mill action show. I mean, do we really watch it because it is Walker Texas Ranger meets Baywatch? I hope not.

One of the other things I liked in this episode was that it was rich with history. I believe that shows like the X-Files and Buffy The Vampire Slayer are successful not just because they are well written, but also because they reward long time fans with a progressive complexity. All episodes seem to build up from previous ones. This is why if you watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer you see the "Previously on Buffy The Vampire Slayer" montage which sometimes goes back four seasons! Yet the way the show is written, you are not required to see previous episodes to enjoy the current one. Xena has focused more on the stand alone episodes. They don't really mention or build up from previous episodes the way these other series do. This one, however, does reference back to several other ones. Gabrielle has a nice montage while she waits to be executed. Though the one odd thing that annoyed me is a montage should not include scenes that already happened in tonight's episode! We just saw it; we haven't forgotten what occured a few minutes ago! And of course (and I hope this continues) this episode has the return of Gabrielle's staff!

Let's all agree that I don't live in the desert. I never have lived in the desert. I have never even been to the desert. But I have a big problem with the nomads being able to predict a sandstorm by the position of the sun in the sky. Um, hello? This just can't be right. Sandstorms cannot possibly occur everyday, everywhere in the desert, whenever it's 4 o'clock.

*Thanks to Kat for the sharp eyes!

Who's Gurkhan?

Who's Gurkhan?

Teleplay by R.J. Stewart
Story by Rob Tapert
Directed by Michael Hurst

Episode synopsis:

Segment one:

Xena, Gabrielle, Eve, and Virgil arrive in Potedeia but find Lila the only member of Gabrielle's family left. Lila explains that eight years ago her daughter, Sarah, was kidnapped by Gurkhan, who brought her to North Africa and made her a member of his harem. Gabrielle's parents and Lila's husband sold most of their possessions and travelled to Gurkhan's walled city to buy her back. Instead, they were beheaded. Gabrielle freaks out. She warns Xena that they are going not only to rescue Sarah, but also sate Gabrielle's need for vengeance.

Segment two:

While travelling to North Africa, Eve tells Gabrielle that killing Gurkhan will not be easy, for he keeps his identity a closely guarded secret. After discussing Gabrielle's death wish with Eve, Xena gives Gabrielle a seasickness potion which knocks her out cold. Taking advantage of the situation, Xena takes Virgil into the city where he sells her as a slave in an attempt to find out Gurkhan's identity. But their plans are thwarted by multiple bidders using Gurkhan's name.

Segment three:

When Gabrielle awakes, she quickly realizes how she has been duped and leaves for the city to continue her original plan. Xena, now a member of the harem, tries to determine which wife is Sarah, but is warned not to ask about the other wives unless she wishes to be punished. The new wives are introduced to the First Wife, a domineering and violent woman. Virgil arrives at Gurkhan's palace and gives Gabrielle to him as a gift. While she dances for Gurkhan, she makes a move to grab a knife. Xena sees this and tackles her to prevent her from making a lethal mistake. Xena is knocked out by Gurkhan's guards.

Segment four:

After being severly tortured, Xena is questioned on her actions. She confesses that she is jealous of the other wives and yearns to be the First Wife. After being returned to the harem, she is later called for to dance for Gurkhan. After doing so, she asks Gurkhan for Sarah's head on a plate. He acquiesces and the First Wife is lead away.

Segment five:

Xena is brought to Gurkhan's bedchamber where she suggests that Gabrielle join them. She then subdues Gurkhan and hands Gabrielle a dagger with which to finish the job. Gabrielle finds that she is unable to go through with it. Together they release Sarah, who mourns to Gabrielle over the person she has become. Gurkhan is left in Sarah's cell and is decapitated as her by the guards for a scarf and veil cover his features.

Disclaimer: Xena's uncanny ability to recover from devastating wounds was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.

Moments Of Subtext:

• Xena has an inscrutable expression as she watches Gabrielle dance for Gurkhan.
• While she is being tortured, Xena has visions of Gabrielle caressing her face and dancing for her.
• The look on Gabrielle's face when they drag Xena's recently tortured body back into the harem is profound. She then runs over to the body and holds it.
• There is an overhead shot of the members of the harem preening each other.
• As a servant girl to the harem tends to Xena's wounds, Gabrielle rubs Xena's arm.

Commentary:

I liked this episode. Sure, there were somethings wrong with it, but it is so pleasant to finally get away from gods and saving the entire world and deal with a personal, character driven episode. I disagree with the basic premise of the episode, that Gabrielle would blindly crave blood like she does. To me, this is a betrayal of her character. Obviously the direction of her character has given her a more agressive, violent personality, but given her past, I believe that she should have had an internal struggle with her emotions before she was on top of Gurkhan with a dagger poised for the kill. But if you accept the premise, then the rest of the story has a very good flow to it, with things happening in a logical and (more or less) realistic manner. The conflict the other character's feel over Gabrielle's behavior is well expressed, yet they treat her with dignity and accept the outcome that she has chosen for herself, with only one attempt made to seriously dissuade her (drugging her.)

What are some of the psychological ramifications of this episode? There is a lot of discussion in the media about whether exposure to violence produces violent people. This episode (in my opinion) supports that theory. Gabrielle's exposure to Xena's lifestyle and an acceptance of that violence has corrupted Gabrielle and added a darkness to her soul. You see, this series has long been about the reformation of evil people. Xena was evil. She is an example that people can change, they can learn from their mistakes; they can be reformed. And Xena and Gabrielle have travelled the known world following that belief; whenever possible they capture evil doers and turn them over to the proper authorities. Xena and Gabrielle do not decide themselves what punishment is appropriate. A good example of this is the episode "Crusader" where Najara has killed possibly hundreds of people, and Xena and Gabrielle turn her over to the local "police." But now the darkness that they speak of in that episode (both Xena and Gabrielle tell Najara that they fear Xena's darkness and what it will do to Gabrielle) has had the impact they feared. Gabrielle stands over Gurkhan, who is incapacitated, helpless. She psychologically tortures him, running a blade over his face, telling him he is about to die for what he has done. While she does not go through with the actually murder, she then beats him, a scene I find comparable to the scene where Gurkhan's soldiers beat an incapacitated Xena. And then the two of them, Xena and Gabrielle, leave Gurkhan in a position where he is killed. They are responsible for his death. If you throw a person into a pit of lions, you have killed that person even though it is technically the lions who finished the job. Gabrielle HAS in fact become Gurkhan, a fate she fears as she decides whether to murder him or not. So the title of this episode can refer not only to Gurkhan's inisistence on anonymity, but also the darkness that now resides in Gabrielle.

I feel uncomfortable for some of the minor characters in this episode. Poor Virgil. He has the unpleasant duty of being the wacky comic relief in this very serious and dark episode. And unfortunately for him, he does not pull it off well at all. I find it hard to blame him, for who could do anything with that kind of material or role in this episode? Eve also leaves me uncomfortable. Maybe it's me; I have trained myself to always be watching for subtext and have grossly overheightened my "lesbian awareness." But there is a scene with Eve cuddling with Xena on the boat... and there is just something about the way the scene is played by Eve that makes me all sorts of "Ewwwwww."